Note. Explicit content below.

Oh yeah, 'cause that's all I do.

I don't even feel like explaining how deep of a fucking rut I'm in... because that would mean I'd have to pull myself out and break the circle. Hhhhhh.

My best friend hates me.

My father's lost it.

My momma can't handle it.

My brother won't share his drugs. (But he'll use the fuck out of mine)

And I'm gonna be an adult in less time than I can complete a coherent blog.

D`: But, I feel fine.

If I don't at least start moving toward a better future, I've tucked away $600 to fuel my escape back to Florida. I'll be a legal adult in a few months time and I can't get trapped in my old ways... I won't let myself. I'm going to do it the hard way if I have to, w/out my family around to fall back on. At least I'll be able to say I tried.

Nothing much has changed. I've just no time.

My 20 year old brother's secured his second heart attack just before his 20th birthday.

I've not been to school in 3 weeks /bitelip

My pa's getting sicker n he's not got his oxycotin anymore (long story).

Mama's just mama, never changes.

N that's that really. Now, you know why I've not bothered to pollute mindsay w/ my boring excuse of an existance.

'Til the next interval of three months or so, peace homies.

KK... k, quick update.
Basically I've done nothing really new... that I remember. Oh, except sucking it up and getting my life straightened out. So since my last entry, I've lived in a motel, hospital, on a park bench, and in a mission. But, as of September 18th 2009, I re-enrolled into Stadium High School.
As a sophomore... >: /  I'm supposed to be a senior and the hopes of going into my proper grade greatly influenced my decision to go through and finish high school instead of settling for my G.E.D. Due to my credits, all 5.5, I could only enroll as a sophomore... even after all the negotiations.
I've gotten over all the hard knocks and accepted it the best I can. By adding way more to my workload than most in my situation could handle. At least that's what every person who sees my transcript tells me.They all say that even with missing about every other day of school freshman year, I did amazingly by maintaining a 2.5. What really gets 'em is when they see all the address changes and hear about some of my problems. Which tickles me, b/c the only reason I missed all that time is due to my drug habits and distaste for schedule keeping.
Nontheless, I've put my big girl pants on and decided to do this the right way. Which, for me, includes adding German, Japanese, English honours, World History honours, Health 2, Geometry, and one extra unnecessary class.... NJROTC. Don't laugh quite yet. I signed up for a "zero hour" class, that takes place an hour before school starts for everyone else, so I can get my P.E. credits and so I could switch around my classes. Otherwise I would have been stuck with Digitools instead of Japanese. See, the counciler was more concerned with me getting all my credits on time that she didn't let me take both language classes when I asked, so I added an extra class to get a free slot on my schedule; which I stuffed in Japanese. (ROFLCOPTER I like stuffing Japanese in my extra slots)
Anywho, I'm extremely proud of myself for doing all of this. I've only missed one day and I was genuinely sick!
So much for a 'quick' update, huh? Well, ta ta to you all, friends. I hope your lives are going great, and even if you don't care... I'm really proud.

Moving time is on the morrow.
I had some fun with Marc these past few days. By that, I mean yesterday we scored a T of ice and split it damn near in half over a little less than thirteen hours. For, those of you out of date type people... that means: Marc and I spent $120 on Methamphetamine and shot it up periodically until we were out.
Good times.
ttyl bffs... lolcat

That I did not steal from beccasays

Name 3 Schools You Went To
1. Hamilton Elementary 
2. Sanford Middle
3. Stadium High

Name 3 Things In Your Wallet
1. Dust
2. Cob webs
3. Air

Name 3 Things You Always Wear
1. Socks
2. Undies
3. A sign that says, "Kick Me and I'll maul you're kitten"

Name 3 Things You Do When You Are Really Stressed
1. Chill

2. thefuck
3. Out

Name 3 Things You Like To Do
1. Play video games
2. Listen to music
3. Lawlerskate

Name 3 favorite fruits:
1. Strawberries
2. Bananas 
3. Grapes

Name 3 things you are addicted to:
1. Oxygen (can't seem to give it up!)
2. Showering
3. Abusing certain substances...

Name 3 career choices:

(Keep in mind I'm going nowhere in life, these are hypothetical)

1. Stewardess
2. Teacher
3. Litigator

Three Names You Go By:
1. Jennifer
2. Fagot
3. Anne Frank

Three Parts of Your Heritage:
1. Sugar
2. Spice
3. And the souls of a hundred thousand black hearted demons, bent on face raping the population til their teeth come out of their belly buttons

Three Things That Scare You:
1. Bear Mace (It's for BEARS!)
2. Pain
3. Being Trapped

Three of Your Everyday Essentials:
1. Food

2. Water
3. Pokemon Trading Cards

Three Things You Want in a Relationship;
1. I
2. Don't
3. WANT ONE!

Two Truths and a Lie (in no particular order):
1. The rabbit was in the hat.
2.  I'm content.
3. Silver Bullet is not a gay song.

Three PHYSICAL Things about the Opposite Sex that Appeal to You:
1. Well, you should know me well enough to figure where my first thought led me...>.>
2. Strong hands
3. And I always fall for the vegan, rock star, smokers... ? explain how they look

Three Places You Want to go on Vacation:
1. Saudi Arabia
2. Europe (Yeah, all of it)
3. Tokyo

Three things you want to do before you die:
1. See the world
2. Fall in love (the real kind)
3. Learn everything

My last entry was kinda vague.
Two days ago around 9pm, I got this horrible pain in my lower back... so much so that it made me nauseous. It slowly made it's way to my head... and this throbbing started in my temples. It was so bad it blurred my vision.
So, I decided to lay down... well, no, the pain forced me to lay down.
But it was so bad I couldn't find a position to lay in that didn't hurt. I drifted in and out of sleep for what felt like two hours, before moving out to the couch with my blanket. (Even though it was exceptionally hot, I was freezing.)
Before I could lay down, a huge wave of nausea overcame me and I ran to the sink (that's where the cool kids puke) but, as soon as I gagged, my head started pounding so hard I almost collapsed. I had to grab the walls to hold myself up. I laid down, on the verge of tears, for probably half an hour before my dad came out and saw me. He asked what was wrong and when I told him, he assumed I wanted drugs. He actually said, "Why don't you just say, 'Dad, can I have some drugs?'" I told him I didn't want any because I would puke as soon as I took them. In a classic my dad reaction, he said, "What am I supposed to do then?!?" It never fails... if drugs can't fix it, my dad's at a loss.
He convinced me the oxycodone would take away the pain in my back and put me to sleep... so I took the four he gave me. And what do you know! Within ten minutes I was over the sink gasping for air with puke leaking out of all available orifices. >.>
It sucked. My dad was outside smoking so he found out that he wasted his meds on me when I finally got enough air to kinda yelp "Dad!"... it was a pathetic sight, undoubtedly. He got me ice water and left me to toss and turn on the couch for another hour before I decided to lay on the floor. Neither my dad or I thought to check my temperature, so I just tried to sleep away the pain; and I did, for the most part. After a while I was feeling well enough to walk with the assistance of the walls. I peeked in my parents room to see Marc curled up at the foot of their bed. They noticed me and invited me to lay down in between them. I obliged.
What a sight that must have been! An overcrowded bed made up of two parents pushing 50 with cigarettes hanging out of their mouths , their wasted 19 year old son, and sweat covered, puke spackled 16 year old daughter! Can anyone say Hallmark?
Anyway, as soon as I laid my head on my dad's side, he jumped and said something along the lines of, "Jesus! You're burning up!" I guess I convinced him I wasn't just faking sick for drugs. (Which I never do btw!) My temp was around 102.7 by then. That's saying something considering I was already past the worst of it.
I still had the chills and aches but, I just laid there and let them alternate wet towels all over my torso and head. I never stayed asleep very long anyway. But when I woke up for the day, it was 11am and I could barely lift my head. I was so weak. Then, on top of that, my equilibrium was fucked up (from what I'm assuming was a sinus infection).
I'm now feeling much better, but I still get sudden waves of pain in my temples and my shoulders are very tender. I have to be careful about how fast I stand up or I risk falling back down because of the throbbing.
I never did go to the hospital... even though I wanted to.

I want to go to the hospital.